an open letter to the fucking moron in the chevy's parking lot

it's ASSHOLES LIKE YOU that have NO FUCKING CLUE that there are other drivers around you who CAN'T FUCKING READ YOUR MIND. i was the unfortunate driver who had to sit behind you in the parking lot wanting to get around you but was totally unable to see around your big honkin' piece of crap SUV, and was unaware that you were just sitting there in the middle of the aisle with your thumb up your fucking ass with no intention of actually going anywhere.

now please understand, knowing it will be difficult for an obtuse fuckwit like you to muster up the brain power necessary to comprehend this, that taking your foot off the brake, applying pressure to the accelerator to roll forward about a foot or so, pausing, and then rolling forward again doesn't exactly give someone the impression that you've come to a full stop. it means you're still fucking moving, asshole, in painfully small increments. and you're WASTING MY TIME.

so when you finally deigned to look in your rear-view mirror and noticed that there was actually someone behind you wanting to get by, i did not find it the slightest bit helpful when you opened your window barely one fucking inch & attempted to wave me on with just the tips of your fucking fingers because you should know damn well that no one can see around that fucking monstrosity of yours.

but i hope you appreciated the finger that i vigorously waved at you as i finally was able to squeeze by, along with the 20 or so expletives that i yelled out at you to supplement to the finger-waving....BECAUSE I MEANT ALL OF IT WITH THE UTMOST SINCERITY.

next time, turn on your fucking hazards.