rumor has it

rumor has it that christmas is right around the corner. i've seen very little evidence to substantiate this bit of gossip, but that's what i hear, anyway.

i decided not to do christmas this year. after losing my dad and dealing with all that crap with the evil, selfish, totally fucked-up half-sibs, i'm quite content treating christmas like it's just another day.

i've done no shopping for presents. i've done very little shopping since my dad died, actually, which totally goes against my nature. any shopping i've done has been mostly to buy mourning clothes.

woo-hoo.

everybody says that first round of holidays after you lose someone really close to you is always the hardest. i'm finding that i really miss my dad, but that's been no different than any other day since he died, although the hoidays do seem really weird. after my half-sibs basically disowned me & my mom, which prompted us to spend "outcast thanksgiving" with my cousins, i found the whole experience to be really odd. it wasn't the thanksgiving i was used to spending...you know, with those assholes i used to be related to.

yep, not dealing with that for christmas.

anyway, my dad really didn't care for christmas...or other holidays, for that matter, where he had to deal with his "other" kids. he tried to stop spending the holidays with them when i was younger, but my mom wouldn't hear of it.

you got your wish, dad. merry christmas.