because someone called me a heathen today

i posted this on sunday after i got home from church, but the catholic guilt got to me and i withdrew it. this morning, when my friend s called me a heathen (and i know she meant it in the nicest possible way), i decided, what the hell...let me heathe and be damned!

if you're familiar at all with the order of the catholic mass, you'll know there are always three bible readings (old testament, new testament, gospel). this is exactly how the second reading of last sunday's mass was read by some poor woman with a really bad filipino accent and a horrible lisp.

a reading prom de pirsht book ob de corintiansh

brodersh and shistersh:
de body ish not por immorality, but por de lord,
and de lord ish por de body;
god raishd de lord and will alsho raish ush by hish power.

do you not know dat your bodiesh are membersh of chrisht?
but whoeber ish joined to de lord becomsh one eshpirit wit him.
aboid immorality.
ebery oder shin a pershon commitsh ish outshide de body,
but de immoral pershon shins againsht hish own body.
do you not know dat your body ish a tempol ob de holy eshpirit widin you,
whom you hab prom god, and dat you are not your own?
por you hab been purchashed at a prishe.
derepor gloripy god your body.