i am a walking sacrilege.

napan-ac nakimisa idiay simbaan co tay bigat.
i went to mass at my church this morning.

it's been the first time in a long time (if you don't count the funeral mass last wednesday) that i've sat through the whole, long, drawn out "order of the mass." gotta love catholicism. (okay, you don't, really. it's an acquired taste.)

i was once quite active in my church. it started with my conifrmation, which i did as an adult, when i was planning on marrying someone who's mother was uber-catholic and as a good pinay bride-to-be, i needed to try & impress her by going through the confirmation process so i could marry her son in church. things didn't work out, so i never married the uber-catholic's son, but dammit, i was confirmed.

apparently, i liked the confirmation process so much and since i became really good friends with the program's coordinator, i ended up joining the adult confirmation ministry at my church. i also joined the eucharistic ministry & helped give communion to the parishoners during mass. i even got to know my parish priest really well. i was a good little catholic girl.

and one day, sunday mass all of a sudden became downright boring.

my church caters to its community, primarily 1st gen filipinos.
the priests are always pinoy...
with accents.

this was my downfall.
dis was my downpall.

i couldn't concentrate. i was so focused on how they were mispronouncing...hell, slaughtering all the words they spoke, i had to bite my tongue to keep myself from laughing.

i'm a bad catholic.

and today, having gone back in, hell, how long has it been? a few years, maybe? i'm finding that i'm still not capable of listening to what is being said, but rather i'm more interested in how everything is being said.

i know it's both disrespectful to this religion i'm supposedly practicing & also to my culture, but dammit, it's funny.

you hab no idea how punny eet really ees until you sit right dere een de pront row ob de church.

shit. i'm going to hell.