tales from the toilet

have you ever walked into a stall in a public restroom and been welcomed by a pube on the toilet seat?

i'm sure it can't just be me, because i've had this experience on more than one occasion, in various public restrooms in different places.

it makes me shudder to think of the possibility that there are people out there who don't bother checking the toilet seat before going about their business & who may have been needlessly subjected to unnecessary contact with someone else's pubes.

but how could you NOT check the toilet seat before sitting down? you've got the paper seat cover to deal with, so you can't help but notice what's ON the seat when you're putting the thing down, because you've got to make sure it doesn't collapse in the middle and fall into the toilet bowl. (and that takes SKILLS.)

unless you DON'T use the complimentary toilet seat covers when you're in public restrooms. and if that's the case, please stop reading my blog immediately and learn some hygiene, for chrissakes. you're probably a pube-leaver-behinder.

yeah...so anyway, i had an unfortunate pube-sighting on my last trip to the toilet here at work (which needs a key to get into, thus narrowing the possible list of culprits down to my female co-workers), so i took radical measures, using one toilet seat cover to brush the suspect pube into the toilet bowl, after which i flushed, and then placed three more seat covers down after i knew the thing had been sent on its way out to the bay. there's something about the sight of that scraggly, wiry hair that just grosses me out. i mean, how does it even get there?

i can only assume that the person who used the pot before me had her bare ass on the seat (hence the need to use several toilet seat covers). that alone gives me the willies*. i don't like the fact that someone decided they could go and plunk their uncovered cootie-ridden hindquarters down on something that the rest of us have to use as well.

and while she was sitting there, skin to seat, did a random pube just decide to shed itself right then & there? was she so totally unaware of her crotch molting that she didn't feel the need to check for fallout?

she's probably the same type of person who poops & leaves a floater behind.

that's just bad toilet etiquette.

so the next time you're finishing your business in the bathroom, do us all a favor. even if you used the protective (and complimentary, mind you) toilet seat covers, check for toilet critters. check the seat, the bowl and the area surrounding the base of the toilet. be vigilant in the search for any toilet-critters you may have inadvertently left behind.

DARE to be AWARE.

* i don't actually know what "willies" are, but i've heard other people use the phrase and it sounded right when i typed it. so if you can define that for me, i'd appreciate it.